11:11

Sean Murphy

2010-07-07T16:27:00.003-05:00

CraftsMEN

2010-05-10T06:01:00.002-05:00

I am up early this morning and I am cruising the internet for some "best practices" with a handmade,upcycled project (okay, we can say a craft project) and do you know what I notice? A tangible gender bias is prevalent in the entire handmade industry. Okay, it isn't news but there are so many "crafty moms" or "cool chick's crafts" and I have to wonder why is handmade craft immediately labeled as a feminine art form. I see wood workers who are male. There are guys who make clocks. Guys who repurpose technology are out there. Engineers, craftsMEN, and all sorts of other men are busy upcycling and crafting their little hearts out but the market as a whole is tilted towards women. What's up with that?

Spotted Mirror of the Soul.

2010-03-13T09:06:00.000-06:00

I am of the opinion that we don't know ourselves nearly as well as we imagine we do. Well, I know this statement applies to me. There is a certain familiarity with myself. I am accustomed to the way I react in certain situations and after thirty five years of life I have finally pinned down some of my emotional triggers. I mean how long has it taken me to get know myself even this well yet we expect others know and understand us after a few weeks,months, or years of acquaintance. Truth is most of us don't even know what makes us tick, let alone to understand anyone else and their preferences,motivations,or moods. To be honest, I would almost say sometimes my wife knows me better than I know myself but just as often she is completely off-base. How can we blame another for not knowing us when we barely know ourselves. I view myself in a spotted mirror or on bad days one coated with vapor and impossible to make out the man in it. Once I get used to the man that looks back at me, I am greeted by a different older man with grey in his beard and droopier bags under his eyes. The book I read says that the creator knows me. It says he designed me. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He planned for me a life long before I was even a resident of Mom's womb. It says that it is important that I come to know Him. It gives me ideas on how to know Him. It says through knowing Him is my salvation. It says that we should gather together for the purpose of knowing Him and making Him known to others. In fact, this book goes so far as to say my chief purpose or goal is to know Him and enjoy Him forever. How daunting does this task seem when I am not even sure how well I know myself. No worry, we are also supposed to reject our self. What? I barely know this guy "self" and I am supposed to reject him? What exactly should I reject? Everything that is not Him. Okay, that clears it up. Truthfully, if this seems daunting to you then you are not alone. How much time do we spend looking for our self but then only to reject it when we find it. I know I am not revealing anything in the nature or character of God here and honestly it is all not as futile as I make it sound. In my opinion, the more you seek the Lord and His nature and character the better you understand your own nature and character. God is Windex for the spotted mirror of the soul. Our personalities were created in his image and we are at best reflections of the love and joy you can find in Him. Want to know yourself better? Get to know Him.

Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds

2009-11-12T12:21:00.001-06:00

11:11: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

My daughter and I spent a morning running "kindness errands". First, we ran to the post office with huge stacks of hand-made cards for the soldiers at Fort Hood. The children responded in such an awesome way with reminders of Jesus's love,quoted scripture,drawings of flags and fireworks. My wife had helped us bundle them with twine so that we could more easily carry the huge abundance of cards into the post office. My daughter helped me find the largest bulk-rate mail box and we addressed it and mailed the cards to the soldiers of Fort Hood. It was an incredible success and it made me and my daughter smile to know that we were part of offering the service members that much love,encouragement and proud support.

Next we made a trip to Wal-Mart. Tonight, I am cooking a meal for a family from our church. Their young son got very sick and was diagnosed with a Wilm's tumor, a malignant mass on one of his kidneys. He has had to undergo several surgeries but is now going through chemotherapy and radiation. This family is very faithful and devoted to spreading the love of Christ. It is the least I can do to make them dinner tonight. Becca helped me choose a pasta to cook,some marinara sauce and meatballs. Becca also wanted to get Nathan,the young boy who is sick, a special gift of a toy. We picked out some Play-doh in really bright colors.

When we were finished at Wal-Mart, we went to the Salvation Army to donate a large box of clothes. Then we dropped by to see Becca's grandmother at work. We talked to her for a minute and picked up a few more things. Then headed home.

Our day of "kindness errands" isn't over yet.

Please leave me comments and suggestions of other kind acts that I can do this month. We are having so much fun helping others that we probably won't stop when the month is over. We are becoming "kindness addicts". Please keep following this blog and everything we are going to do this month and through the holidays to help others.

Big Love.

Small Kindness.

2009-11-10T13:11:00.003-06:00

I have to admit that the acts of kindness I have been doing the last few days are quite small. I helped a customer at my store pay the last bit of their grocery bill and I pushed up my neighbor's trash bin from the curb when I was doing my own. I have found myself doing so many small kindness. I don't know that I was ever a rude or unkind person but certainly a selfish one. Now I hardly let an opportunity for kindness pass. If I can do good for another person then I will. Period.

I have been working hard lately on my attempts to get cards and letters for the soldiers of Fort Hood. I have had lots of positive messages sent my way and support. I have I know at least two classrooms dedicating a small amount of class time to making cards to support the soldiers and honor Veteran's Day. My church is becoming involved as well and the youth will be making cards this Wednesday night. I have so many kind people participating in some small way that it is becoming quite a BIG thing.

Twenty Three Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-08T14:43:00.002-06:00

Not sure what this is all about? Here is the challenge: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

I have to admit that doing small acts of kindness becomes sort of addicting after a little while. It isn't always easy. Pride and selfishness get in the way at first and you may think you are going to come off as silly or sort of soft but it is completely worth it when you feel that "good and pleasant" feeling after a random kind act. Psalm 133:1 "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!" [1]

I find myself doing small acts of kindness all the time now. I mean some of them are very small things such as holding open doors or picking up items that people have dropped. It is little things like helping a shorter person to reach something that they couldn't on their own or other little courtesies. I find myself in a constant state of encouragement and this challenge has opened my eyes to how many opportunities for kindness and encouragement we let pass in a day out of fear of hurting our egos.

I am still working on my card and letter campaign which I have decided to call the "Care Campaign". I will be dropping off collection boxes for cards at my daughter's school and my church on Monday morning..If you would like to participate but don't live close enough for my drop-off locations then the address to mail letters and cards of support is:

Morale, Welfare, & Recreation
c/o Support for the Troops
Bldg 194 37th St
Fort Hood, TX 76544

If you are local to Oklahoma City then you can use either of these locations to drop off cards:

Community
Christian School
3002 Broce Drive
Norman, OK 73072

(Elementary Desk)

Heartland
Community Church
8309 S Santa Fe Ave
73139-8214

("The Bus")

Please look for the blue gift-wrapped box and put your cards in the slot. Get your friends, family members, school,church, work place or other organizations involved. Please write brief and encouraging messages of support and feel free to send children's drawings and notes. Reflect the love of Jesus to our service members by honoring them with your thanks and appreciation. Please have your card or letter ready to be mailed by 11/11/2009 Veteran’s Day. That is this Wednesday.

Here are some simple guidelines for you...

Do...
* Sign all cards (even if it is just the name of your organization or class i.e.. "Ms. McCraken's Second Graders")
* Entitle cards “Dear Service Member, Family or Veteran”
* Write messages of encouragement and support.
* Feel free to design and make homemade cards or help children make cards
* Bundle groups of cards in single, large envelopes

Don’t...
* Include personal information such as home or email addresses
* Write inappropriate or angry messages or focus too much on the negative
* Send money,checks, or other gifts instead donate to the American Red Cross

Don't worry I will have more stories of my small random acts of kindness but really would like to see this "Care Campaign" come together and touch the lives of many service members. I will be doing a few other card drives and a care package collection this month and up to the holidays. I plan of working with American Red Cross Holiday Mail For Heroes later this month as well. Feel free to participate with me or on your own.

I would still love comments,suggestions, or stories. Please share this blog with others and tell a friend (tell ten!). Thank you.

Big Love.

Twenty Four Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-07T09:57:00.003-06:00

Here is the challenge: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

Day 6:

I dropped by the firehouse yesterday morning. I had bought about fifteen boxes of multi-grain fruit bars and wanted to give them to the firefighters at the station. I have watched too many movies maybe because I expected to see a bunch of guys kidding around and lifting weights waiting on the clanging alarm to slide down the pole to their truck. Maybe the fire station is like that when I am not there but all I saw of it was administrative offices and four men in their fifties (and while still more fit than I am) did not look ready to extinguish a strong "back draft". None of the guys resembled anything like Kurt Russell. I gave the older men a big cardboard box full of packages of nutritious breakfast snacks and received a polite "Thank you." in return and a promise to give the snack bars to "our guys" when they got back. I wonder if they were off fighting a fire? I walked out a little disappointed that a spotted dalmatian didn't follow me down the stairs and out to my truck. So much for my hero worship of firemen.

I drove from there to the post office. I had cards to mail to my father and brother in honor of Veteran's Day and to let them know how much I appreciate their military service. My father is a retired Air Force captain who served in Asia during the Vietnam conflict. My brother is active duty enlisted Army and currently deployed to Iraq. The radio was talking about the tragic shootings at Fort Hood,Texas. My heart began to ache a little bit and I found myself wishing that I could somehow reach the soldiers stationed there and encourage them. I wanted to let them know that most Americans (regardless of how they feel about our involvement in the two wars) still support the soldiers. As I dropped my brother's card into the big blue mailbox, it occurred to me that I could reach out to the soldiers of Fort Hood. Why couldn't I write them cards or letters? I could write them and get other people to write them. Brainstorming now, I got a little excited remembering how much my brother enjoyed being sent my daughter's drawings and I decided to ask her to draw something for the soldiers. If I was going to involve my daughter, then why not her classmates? Next thing I know, I am on the phone with the principal of my daughter's school organizing a card and letter writing campaign. By that afternoon, I had an address to send the cards to and the support of my daughter's school and my church family.

I have just started putting all of this together but already it seems like it is turning into a pretty "Big" small act of kindness. I will continue with my challenge of thanks and giving through small random acts of kindness but now I have something else to focus on too. I am going to spend this month coordinating my first letter and card campaign and then a holiday care package mailing for soldiers currently deployed in the Middle East. I want to show the soldiers that their sacrifices are not taken for granted or forgotten.

As always, please comment with suggestions,stories of shared kindness, or offers to help me with my new mission to help American soldiers and show some Thanks through Giving. Thank you to all who have been reading this month and especially those brave few who commented. Keep following my kindness challenge and see how my attempts to encourage American soldiers turns out. I will try not to disappoint you.

Big Love

Twenty Five Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-05T09:17:00.000-06:00

This is the challenge: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

This is sort of Two-Fer Twenty Five Days of Thanks and Giving post. It is my second post today and it is also a "two-fer" in the sense that I doubled my acts of kindness today. Why not order up a little extra kindness today? Here goes:

Day Five:

It is about a mile walk to the police station and home again from my house. It is a little over a mile if you make a few stops along the way. I discovered this on my morning walk this morning. I always walk a few miles in the morning for exercise and time alone to clear my head and prepare myself for my day. I usually just leash the dog and take off for the park. Today, I wanted my walk to be a little more meaningful. I started walking west and made a quick stop at the donut store. I bought a big box of donuts and headed towards "Old Town" Moore and the local police station. As I walked, I was passed by patrol car after patrol car. I started thinking how safe it makes me feel to know that I have that many officers ready to respond if I needed them. Each officer turned their head my way as they passed. It was like police officers get some sort of donut-seeking radar when they get out of their training academy. I smiled and waved and made my way to the station. When I got there the lobby was open but the window was closed. I picked up the phone thinking it called the other side of the glass and wound up speaking with a dispatcher. She was friendly and I explained what I was doing. She told me she would have an officer out to me in a minute. In just a minute or two an officer opened the door and with sort of a serious police officer half-smile accepted my show of thanks. I told him, "I wanted you guys to know that you are appreciated. You always come when I call and I am thankful for that." He thanked me and shook my hand before disappearing back into the station with the donuts.

I immediatly walked back towards home but I planned my walk to hit two more stops. I went by a conveinence store and bought a 16oz hot chocolate and a banana. I took my walk by the elementary school in our neighborhood. As I approached the school, the crossing guard immediatly met me and helped me across the street. She is a woman that I go to church with and someone I know to have a very giving and God-serving heart (but still qualifies as I really don't know her well). I see her helping the children cross the street in wind,rain, cold or whatever conditions with a servant's heart. Today, I decided to serve her. As she helped me cross the street, I held out my hands and offered her the hot chocolate and banana. At first, she tried to refuse but then she began to smile a little and took the breakfast from me. I dashed off but hoped that the drink kept her warm and the fruit kept focused as she helped so many small children on their way to school.

Police officers and crossing guards are people who serve me every single day. I just wanted to show a little kindness and serve them a little something this morning.

Now to leash the dog and serve him to his morning walk. As always comments are appreciated and suggestions of new acts of kindness are gladly accepted. Big LOVE.

Twenty Six Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-05T04:35:00.000-06:00

The challenge is: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

Well, I have completed four days of my challenge. I spent yesterday feeling sorry for myself over a stupid situation. Something that I own that is more luxury than necessity has stopped working correctly. I am talking about my cell phone. So I spent the morning arguing with my carrier and the rest of the day frustrated that I didn't get what I wanted from them. It was my most selfish day this month so far.

As I thought about it and talked to my wife about it, I realized how much I have. I have a wife and a family. I have a new foster daughter. I have a home. I have a vehicle. I am working. I have central air and I am warm when it is cold and I am cool when it is hot. I am not exposed to rain,sleet, or ice. I have indoor plumbing. I take one or two showers a day. I can eat any time I want to. I am blessed.

How selfish was it of me to be so upset over my phone? Honestly, the phone works but it does not work as well as I would like. I was thinking of myself as disadvantaged but really I am merely inconveinenced. It got my mind thinking about people that don't have homes,families,hygeine or food.

I was going to dinner with my family at a pizza place that we like in the city. It is one introduced to us while meeting a non-profit charity there a couple times a month. We take the 23rd street exit and every time (and I mean every time), I see a man standing there. It isn't always the same man but their sign is the same message. It is some variation of "Hungry. Please help." and every time I pass that man and drive on to eat pizza and to help this non-profit but not once have I done anything to help feed the homeless and hungry man right outside my window.

Before leaving home, I packed a sack lunch in a brown paper bag. I made a ham sandwich on wheat bread. I grabbed an apple. I found a snack cake and a few pieces of the kid's Halloween candy. I had a packet of single serve drink mix and a bottle of water. I put it all together in the brown bag and wrote a quick note, "Don't forget that you are loved." This time I was prepared to help.

As we took our usual exit, there was the man. He was pacing the concrete island. He looked discouraged and I wondered what it was like to be him. He was alone and in the cold. He held a sign that said, "Hungry". I rolled down my window as we were stopped at the light. I called him over. "Sir! Sir, this is for you." His eyes got big and there was so much gratitude there as he realized I was handing him food and water. He said, "God BLESS you!" As I watched in my rearview the man finding a place to sit and eat and drinking his water, I thought...God already has blessed me!

I wondered how long I could remember to make a sack lunch for the homeless men at the stop lights on the exits from the highway. Hopefully just as long as I remember how blessed I truly am and how the Lord has provided for me and wants me to be His provision to others.

Keep following this challenge. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Please pass the word on this challenge and let's see if we can make these small acts a BIG inspiration in the lives of our friends and family. Praise God.

Twenty-Eight Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-03T16:11:00.000-06:00

For those who missed it (or forgotten already? Really... lay off the recreational!) Here is the challenge: Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

Day Two/Three:

I wasn't sure what to do that could work out as well as the first experiment. I kept trying to think of something bigger and better. The harder I tried to think of something to top the day before the less I could muster an idea. I never could think of anything and gave up!

What? Challenge ends on the second day? What a downer! Total kindness fail.

Finally, I decided "Big" was sort of the opposite of what I was trying to accomplish. It didn't have to be a "Big" act. The point was to do something,anything that took my focus off of myself for a moment. I decided to do two small acts on Day Three (one was a do-over for my fail on Day Two). I packed up my closet and went through all of my old clothes. I packed up two boxes for the Salvation Army. Inside the pocket of one shirt I placed a small piece of artwork that I had made with the simple words, "You Should SMILE more" and on the other side, "You are LOVED". I imagine someone at Salvation Army finding it while going through the clothes to hang or maybe it will slip through and someone will find it after buying it and it will brighten their day. I can hope.

I decided to let the Lord show me something today. I went to lunch with a friend to catch up and to give him some of my old clothes that are dress-code for the store I used to work at with him. We had a waiter who was obviously new and nervous. I could tell the kind of day he was having and could see the stress building as the restaurant got more and more crowded. He didn't make a single mistake on my order and gave good service despite obviously being a little nervous. I wrote an encouraging note on the back of the bill telling the waiter how I appreciated the good service and what a good job he had done for me. I slipped a generous tip in with the bill and left the table hoping that this small kindness made him a little more confident and improved his day. Sometimes all it takes when you are new at something to build your confidence is just a little bit of praise.

So there you go... Day Two/Day Three and hopefully, I keep finding ways to give and be thankful. I am a little disappointed that no one decided to comment. The comment button is at the bottom of the page. Please leave me some suggestions,stories, interaction,okay...I will accept encouragement. Anything at all. Please just comment.

Thirty Days of Thanks and Giving

2009-11-02T13:42:00.000-06:00

November is supposed to be a month of gratitude to God for His grace and for His bounty. Somehow though the holiday of Thanksgiving has become something that has very little to do with thanks or giving. Middle class America sits around crowded tables or in front of televised football games shoving their mouths full of overcooked turkey and store-bought pumpkin pie until they are more stuffed than the butterball that they spent all morning preparing. I can say that because that is the holiday the way it is celebrated by the majority of my friends and family (not to mention myself). It has become a month for gluttons and people who serve idolatry wrapped in pigskin. I just don't want to spend another month that way.

So I have come up with a challenge for myself. I am daring myself to make this month not so focused on me. I want to make it a month of making some small difference in the lives of others. The heart is a muscle and like any muscle you must use it regularly or it will atrophy and die.

Here are the rules for my challenge:

The challenge is to last for the full thirty days of November.
I must demonstrate at least one act of either thanks or giving each day.
It must not benefit me directly in any way. It should be an unselfish gesture.
I can not accept credit or receive thanks for the act. That's not the point. God paid me a great kindness and this is a feeble attempt to return some of that kindness.
The act should be something unexpected and hopefully a pleasant surprise.
I must take every attempt to remain anonymous. The recipient should be a stranger or someone who I do not know well. If at all possible, they should never know where the act of kindness came from.
Document every act in my blog and let people follow along with my adventures in trying to live in an attitude of gratitude and my experiment in starting a season of real giving.

Day One:

Tired from working overnight and I slept most of the first day away. When I woke up I was groggy and running late for work. I forgot all about the challenge I had made for myself. I remembered about halfway on my commute and felt sort of guilty for already being delinquent in delivering to others. I decided I would have to do something at work. Maybe this would work out to my advantage. There are plenty of people there are plenty of people that I don't know shopping my store every night.

Now what to do? I remembered reading an article about a woman diagnosed with a disease that was crippling her and would eventually be fatal. She could do nothing for months but focus on the pain and the fact that very soon that she may die. Then through a conversation with her accountability partner she completely changed her attitude. She spent a long afternoon complaining to her friend about her illness. Her friend listened compassionately and then responded in a very gutsy and honest fashion, "Honey, I think you might be a little too focused on yourself. Take the focus off of your pain and the possibilities of death and take some time to focus on others and the possibilities of life." The woman decided right then to make the same challenge to herself that I have decided to make. She decided to spend one month focusing on others through simple acts of kindness and giving. She decided to do one kind thing for another person every day. For her first day, she bought a bouquet of flowers and stood in front of the grocery store handing flowers to each person who came out of the store. It was such a great idea. I decided to emulate it but I thought it might be a little self-serving as the manager of the store to stand in front of my work handing flowers to customers. I am also quite honestly not prepared to be so public in my giving but the concept was good. I also remembered hearing about a man who paid for the lunch order of the next car in the drive-through at a fast food chain and then that car paid for the next and this chain of giving went on for most of an afternoon. I decided to blend those two ideas in a new way.

I bought a bouquet of flowers and whispered to the cashier to give the flowers to the next customer in line and to only tell them that someone bought them who hoped it might brighten their day. I quickly moved myself out of view but still within earshot. The cashier picked up on what I wanted right away and decided to play along. The next customer to come through the line was a tired looking older gentleman with a cart full of groceries and a huge frown on his face. He unpacked his items on the register belt hardly looking up or acknowledging the cashier in front of him. When he finally did look up he saw the cashier with her arm held out and her hand full of beautiful red roses. The man looked confused. "Did someone leave that behind?" I watched from a safe distance as I heard the cashier say, "No,sir. They are for you!" Then she did exactly as I asked and explained to the man that someone had left them for him hoping it would make their day a little better. The man looked honestly surprised and then something awesome happened;his demeanor changed. He stood a little lighter like someone had just taken a heavy weight off of his shoulders. He broke into a little smile that just kept getting wider. He said, "Really? That's great! My wife will love these!" He made a few jokes with the cashier and they exchanged a little small talk and then she said her obligatory, "Have a nice night." He answered in a cheerful tone, "I will,thanks."

I have no idea what happened after this. I don't know how his wife responded when he unexpectedly came home with flowers for her or if he told her the story of where they came from with a chuckle. I didn't need to know to declare this experimental act of kindness a success. I did that the moment I saw him break into a smile at the register and keep it for the full four or five minutes he interacted with that cashier as she checked him out.

I was ready right then to start thinking about my next act of kindness and tomorrow's act of thanks and giving. Please keep reading and be kind enough to leave me a comment. I really want to hear suggestions of additional acts of kindness (or stories of similar acts of random kindness that you may have heard of or participated in) and have you ever been on the receiving end of an act of kindness like this and how did it make you feel? I love to hear from my readers. I really want to make clear that I am not doing this for praise. My ego is large enough. I really want you to know that I believe only the Lord is worthy of adoration and praise and by serving others we are serving the Christ who died to be our savior.

Take up the challenge with me if you like. It isn't proprietary or even an original idea. It is "pay it forward" and what our grandmothers would have called, "good, clean living and giving". Adopt it,adapt it,modify it any way that you like. The most important part is to pass on a little kindness to the people we share this planet with.

Big Love.

Conversations with an Honest God

2009-10-12T09:40:00.000-05:00

Can I share something with you? I guess if you are reading this blog then that is exactly what you came here for, me to share something with you. I am going to get a little bit personal and talk about my relationship with Christ. Don't sweat it. This isn't preachy and it isn't even directed at you at all. It is all about me,my weaknesses,my sin and my walk with the Lord. I am going to be completely transparent here and share some things I have been convicted of and a conversation I had with Jesus. Don't worry this isn't a tearful witness either. It is instead just a paraphrasing of a conversation that I had with my best friend and honest counselor. Remember that anything I say that God told me is filtered through my own perceptions,understanding and beliefs and that I am a devoted but very imperfect follower of Christ.

I woke this morning with just a strong desire to talk to Jesus. You ever wake up thinking about a friend and don't feel like your morning is right until you call them and check up on them and where things are going? That is sort of how I felt this morning. I make it a habit to call Him in the mornings. I just want to check in and let Him know what is going on with me and tell Him about things that are bothering me. I usually call first thing in the morning because I know He is up and waiting to hear from me.

This morning was like most. It was quiet and no one was awake but me and my dog. I took a throw pillow and set it before my couch and got down on my knees. My head was bowed. My hands were folded. I breathed in and then released the breath slowly. I sat this way for a moment and then I started talking to Him. I talked and talked for what must have been fifteen minutes. I did occasionally stop to see if He was listening to me but we must have had a bad connection. It was like talking into a tin can and string phone or listening to a seashell. I could hear something but I couldn't quite make it out. The reception was horrible. I don't believe that God has "dead zones" But I thought I heard Jesus tell me to just take my prayer outside that the reception would be better out there. When I hear God tell me to do something I usually do it. I may argue and I may whine but I do it. I put on some shoes,a hooded sweatshirt, and a jacket. It was cold and rainy outdoors and I wasn't sure how long this call was going to take. Here is the conversation that followed:

Jesus: Can you hear Me now? Good.

Me: Oh, you got jokes this morning? I can hear you a little clearer out here. It is cold,dark and raining. Why did we have to take this outside? I was a lot more comfortable indoors.

Jesus: Hey, you called Me. Did you want to talk with Me out here or did you want to kneel in your front room and talk at the air? Trust Me. The reception will be a lot better out here. Let's go for a walk.

Me: (pulled up my hood and started walking) Okay,Lord. I really wanted to talk to you. Man, I have a laundry list of things to tell you about and ask you for help with...you always have the right answers...when I can reach you.

Jesus: I am always here and waiting for you to call. If you have been having trouble reaching Me, why didn't you try a different way of getting in touch? You have been doing the same fifteen minutes every morning and it is like you hardly stop to listen to me. I am glad we have a better connection this time. So let's hear your list.

Me: Okay, Lord. Here it goes...I have been having a hard time reaching you. Sometimes I wonder if you are even there or if you even care. It doesn't seem like you talk to me anymore like you did when I was first saved. Remember we used to talk to each other all day and now I rarely hear from you. What's up with that?

Jesus: I sent you a letter a long time ago. Did you read it?

Me: A letter?

Jesus: Yes,Sean. Your bible. Where's your bible?

Me: I have it in my backpack, Lord. I take it everywhere I go and I am hardly ever without it nearby.

Jesus: It is good that you always keep your bible close. When was the last time you opened it? When was the last time you read it? Have you been sharing my stories with your children or your friends? Have you been really listening to Me and The Word I shared with you?

Me: No, I haven't opened it in a while. But remember I used to read it every day over breakfast.

Jesus: How long ago was that?

Me: Wow,has it really been like three years? That's crazy! But I read your scripture online.

Jesus: Good. Tell Me some of it.

Me: Really? You mean now? Like just off the top of my head? Ummm...

Jesus: Sean, you expect your daughter to memorize verse but you don't have My word buried in your own heart? Okay...I will let you off the hook for now. So what other ways have you tried to reach Me?

Me: Prayer. I am taking a prayer challenge that my pastor made at church.

Jesus: Good. How has that challenge changed you? How many times a day do you call Me?
Have you tried to gather your family for a conference call? You know I have things to tell all of you and it would be clearer sometimes if we just all talked together.

Me: Well, I wake early every morning and call you. I might not call you through the day or check in as often as I should but it is hard and I get really busy and I am not always at home. (My steps are getting a little quicker as I am starting to feel a little defensive and guilty. I find myself walking towards the park's walking trail.)

Jesus: This conversation is mobile. You can reach me anywhere. Don't be legalistic about it. Bow your head in the parking lot before work. Take a walk with Me in the morning. Call Me up before you put your daughter to bed. Having a tough day? Then call Me. I am always here. What made you think I wasn't listening?

Me: Nothing changed. I have been struggling with my weight for so long and with my self-image. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy for me and my family. I am still fat. I asked in faith and you did nothing.

Jesus: You asked in faith? How did you demonstrate that faith?

Me: I changed my eating habits.

Jesus: How did that turn out?

Me: I lost 20lbs so far.

Jesus: So it is not that nothing changed but just that things aren't changing fast enough for you. What else have you done?

Me: I want to start riding a bike and walking more.

Jesus: What is stopping you? We are walking right now. There are plenty of places to buy a bike. What are you letting stop you? Sean, it is fine to have good intentions but it is our actions that make us who we are. Want to ride a bike,buy one. Want to go for walks, then find time and walk. I will walk with you. Ask in faith and then demonstrate faith. Test Me. Start moving and see if I move with you.

Me: Yes,Lord.

Jesus: Sean, why do you call me Lord if you don't obey my commands?

Me: Hey, it might be a while since I read the bible but I recognize that question! I obey the ten commandments (most of the time) and I try to do what you ask of me.

Jesus: I think it goes back to good intentions. You might have the best intentions but...

Me: Lord, you said Love and I Love. You said Serve and I Serve.

Jesus: Good. How have you demonstrated Love? How have you Served?

Me: Well, I make my son and daughter's breakfast in the morning. I drive my daughter to school. I change my son's diapers... and believe me, Jesus sometimes that shows a lot of Love. I kiss my wife and I try to help with making meals and taking out the trash. I show Love all of the time. I give my Mom and Dad rides and do favors for them. I was best man at my friend's wedding.

Jesus: That is good. It is good to do things for family and friends. What have you done recently to show Love to a stranger? Have you helped someone that you didn't know well or at all? Have you Loved your neighbor?

Me: Like the "Good Samaritan"? I walked in the AIDS Walk downtown just yesterday. We held signs that said, "Love Walks".

Jesus: Did you get many donations then?

Me: No.

Jesus: Oh, then you walked to a hospital where someone was dying of AIDS and you held their hand and you helped them eat a meal or drink from a cup or do the simple things that they can not do because of the progression of the disease? I had you wrong. That does demonstrate lots of Love.

Me: No,Lord. I walked and I held a sign.

Jesus: Who did that serve?

Me: Well, I felt better about myself. I was walking and I was helping bring attention to the disease and the signs had good messages on them. Hey, I was trying.

Jesus: I give you that. You were making a step but what is the next step?

Me: To really Serve? To work hard for donations? To offer my time to the sick?

Jesus: Wow, this connection is a lot clearer today.

Me: Jesus, I just haven't been sensitive to The Holy Spirit lately.

Jesus: Do you hear that water washing across the rocks? Do you feel that gentle mist on your skin? Do you see the stars that are still in the sky this morning? Do you see the first hint of a reddish light above the wind-swayed trees? Do you feel your hairs standing at the chill? Can you feel the tip of your nose? Do you hear the waking chirps of birds?

Me: Yes,Lord. Yes!

Jesus: I did all of that for you. When was the last time you took time to just enjoy my work? When was the last time that you really listened...and felt...and opened your senses? When was the last time you really said, "Thanks"?

Me: Oh, Lord but I praise you daily. I worship you every week. I am thankful.

Jesus: You listen to K-Love on your way to work and sometimes if you are getting into a song, you raise your hands for a minute. You come to church on Sundays and you sing the songs and I know you mean them but...Sean, don't you see to praise Me or worship Me means so much more?

Me: I hear the rocks crying out to you,right now. (The rain was washing through the creek and I had to admit that at that exact moment I felt so very thankful and so full of praise and not in my regular way or my routine way.)

Jesus: Demonstrate gratitude. Sean, pay attention. Realize what I have created for you and what I have blessed you with. Don't just be generic in your thanksgiving. Find what I have made for you and the experience I designed for you. Touch it. Smell it. Listen to it. Then maybe I will really know that you appreciate all that I have made just for you.

Me: Lord, I...am speechless. I have no more word.

Jesus: Then once in a while, don't talk. Just listen. I have things to tell you. But you have to be willing to really listen. Don't just hit me with your laundry list of wants and desires. I know them before you even thought of them. I want you to come to me with your problems but be willing to listen to my advice...and then follow it. You have to take each step in this walk with Me. I will walk with you but you have to be willing to get out there and really walk. You want to walk. Then walk.

By the way, Sean. You have been walking for twenty minutes. You have walked about a mile. Did you even feel it? Are you tired? And you thought I wasn't going to help you with this getting fit thing. Go ahead. Walk home. You did good. Thanks for listening. Call me later?

Me: Yes,Jesus. I Love You!

Jesus: I Love you too,Sean.

Okay, that was it pretty much. There was some other stuff about my wife and my kids and there was a little bit in there about being selfish,prideful, and angry. He talked to me some about expecting everything on my timetable...but for the most part this was my walk and talk with Jesus this morning. I can't wait to call him later. I am really curious what else he has to say. Also, I am taking my bible to work tonight and tonight...I plan on reading it.

Thanks for letting me share this with you.

Talking to my Father

2009-06-15T20:21:00.000-05:00

"When Aric Knuth was a little kid, his dad would leave for six months at a time. He was a merchant marine. And Aric would record cassettes of himself and send them. He'd leave one side blank, for his father to record a response. But he never did, even though Aric asked him to on every tape. " LISTEN HERE

I don't expect every one to understand this. I especially don't expect sympathy and I am not looking here for answers. I am just chronicling something that is happening or more accurately is NOT happening. Let's take a few things here for granted. One: I am a believer. Two: I believe in prayer as a conversation between you and the Living God who is the Creator, Savior, and Counselor of humanity. Three: I love my Father God (and my father for that matter)...

Okay, with all of that said... I was driving to work last Saturday afternoon. I have a fairly long commute and I like to listen to NPR especially on Saturday afternoons. I enjoy several of the programs that are on my local NPR station on Saturday. I really enjoy listening to This American Life, a program that is usually several vignettes on a particular theme. This particular Saturday the theme was 'Fathers' or maybe 'communication with Fathers' (or lack thereof). I have a habit of spending my commute in a thoughtful atmosphere of half-prayer and contemplation thinking on my day, my struggles, and maybe whatever thing might be on the radio. This particular Saturday drive to work I was thinking on the quality of the communication between me and my God. See prayer for me has always been sort of a natural thing like talking to a close friend or sharing your day with your dad. I have always felt fairly sensitive to the Holy Spirit (and no I don't hear voices) but I do get subtle revelation or immediate conviction depending on the nature of the prayer.I say that prayer has always been that way for me because as long as I have been a follower of Christ (even before I was truly saved) prayer was conversation. It never felt one sided. He was subtle and quiet but He was always there and I knew it. I felt it.

That is until recently. I am at crisis. I can't go into too much detail but I will say that it is a stressor that affects my health (mental and otherwise), my finances and my ability to provide for my family, my self-esteem and my "pursuit of happiness". It is a crisis not of my making. It is a crisis brought about by forces that I do not have control over but forcing me to make decisions that are long-lasting and like I said of great effect to me and my family. While I am trying desperately to cling to my nature as optimist and see opportunity in crisis. I will freely admit that I am anxious (okay...scared). I can't talk too much on this subject to my wife as I don't need to add more worry to her life. It is my job as a husband to provide her with a certain amount of security. I can not talk to my father about it. It has taken us time to get a relationship where these sorts of conversations could even be approached but I am a little ashamed to admit to my Dad how much this is all really bothering me. Also I wouldn't want him to think I was asking for a 'solution'. But I always thought I could take it to my Father God.

It seemed to me that when I was under this much stress and buried under the burden of carrying this much worry that there was only One who I could take it to. So I have. And I have. Every day in fact, in my quiet time, in the shower, on my drive to work and home again, I am always bringing it to Him.

The response is always the same. Silence. No feelings of Him being there with me. No subtle revelations. Not even immediate conviction. Just silence. Quiet. Empty. Silence.

I want to, "Let Go. Let God be God" and I want to trust in Him more than in myself or my own abilities. But...

how when all I hear is...

NOTHING.

What is wrong? Why won't God talk to me? Now I am becoming pleading? I feel forsaken, forgotten and foremost I blame myself. Is there some unresolved sin in my life? Am I being too prideful? Am I just expecting God to solve a problem that I should be trying to solve myself? Is this a trial that I am just meant to suffer and maybe it is all the Lord's will all along.

Anyway, all of these things were on my mind or in my mind or flowing in and out of my consciousness as I listened to just the opening to the latest This American Life. One that oddly enough happened to be on 'Fathers' or 'communication with Fathers' (or lack thereof) and I only heard the opening. Aric's loving pleas to an absent father for Him to show up or at least to let Him hear the sound of his voice.

And as I pulled into the parking lot this Saturday afternoon at my work...I listened to the radio program and very quietly and very,very subtle...I think I 'heard'...a whispered response.

"Wait."

Bring my brother home.

2009-03-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

My daughter has been writing a letter almost every day to her Uncle Richard in Iraq. They are covered in hearts and illustrations of her and her uncle. They say, "I love you. I miss you. I want you to come home". It would only be adorable if I didn't know she was worried and scared. It was the saddest thing when I asked her why she wrote so many letters and she said, "cause I need Uncle Richard to know I want him to come home. I want him to be alive when he comes home."

I chatted with my brother today. He seems to be confident and full of soldier's bravado. He said they took some mortar fire and I told him that he better be praying and relying on Jesus. He said, "I rely on me. If Jesus wants to save me that is up to him". He told me a little later, "I have faith but that isn't what keeps you alive here". I didn't want to think too much about the way war might be making my little brother different. I want to fast forward to my brother sitting at a family BBQ drinking beer and telling me stories about his time over there. I want all the rest of it to fly by and just jump to my brother home safe. It isn't something I talk about but I need my brother to come home too. I don't want to think about mortar fire or the rest of it. I just want to think about him back home being a father and uncle and my little brother.

He tells me not to tell mom about the mortar fire and I make a promise to keep it quiet. I would probably be the same way. Who wants their mother to know how close they are coming to enemy fire? I can see why he wouldn't want her to know. I almost wish I didn't know.

Well, whether he is praying or not. I am. Bring my brother home,Lord.

My brother gives me the forecast on tomorrow.

2009-03-06T22:39:00.000-06:00

Sean

i am too tired to think.

what time is it in iraq?

10:33pmRichard

7:30am

10:34pmSean

im going to bed. you just starting your day?

nine hours difference. what day is it there?

10:35pmRichard

Theres a 9 hour difference. Well I had guard but yeah I'm starting my day.

10:35pmSean

it is friday night here.

10:35pmRichard

It's Sat morning here.

10:36pmSean

you are a whole day ahead of me.

10:36pmRichard

No just nine hours.

10:36pmSean

Man, it's like time travel. What kind of day is tomorrow?

10:37pmRichard

Sucky and war torn. Stay in bed tomorrow.

10:37pmSean

love ya dude.

good night...morning? whatever.

10:38pmRichard

Love you too. Well good night.

My Daughter Solves the World's Problems

2009-02-18T08:48:00.000-06:00

Occasionally, on the drive to school my 5 year old daughter and I will listen to NPR. Sometimes she will recognize the name of a politician or a country and ask a few questions. Sometimes she will ask me, "Daddy, why is there still a war in Iraq?" or "Daddy, what is congress?" and it is what I call our "teaching moments" but maybe I should call them "learning moments" because more often than not I learn something about my own views or remind myself of something that I learned when I was in school. I also learn a lot about my daughter's understanding of the world around her...an understanding that is sweet, compassionate, naive and simple. Albeit her understanding of politics and economic theory is often incomplete but oftentimes so is mine (and be honest so is yours!)...with all of that being stated upfront here is a few snippets of conversation from our drive this morning. They also are incomplete and perhaps slightly paraphrased as I pull them from memory but I rushed home as quickly as I legally could to write this so that I would not forget it. I really wish I had a video camera because these things are so much better directly from the Becca. Believe me. Here goes...

ECONOMIC STIMULUS

Becca: Stimuuuuhlus? Daddy, are we going to get another one of those stimuuuhlus?

Daddy: You mean a stimulus check? We might. I am not sure. I know they are talking about giving a lot of money to projects that they think will start more jobs and help stimulate our economy.

Becca: Obama should give money to the fire fighters so they have better new trucks and the police for faster cars because they help us. I like them because they really help us. You should get a stimuuhlus too,Daddy.

Daddy: Why do you think Daddy needs a stimulus?

Becca: 'cus you work all the time and you are always almost broke. Obama should give you enough money to buy food at the Neighborhood Market and maybe get like a cheap new car or something...it isn't fair you work all the time and you don't have money for a car.

Daddy: I am working for my car and my tax refund will help too.

Becca: Yeah, Daddy... but people who work hard and help people should get a stimuuhlus too...that's all.

ISRAEL/HAMAS

Becca: Are they talking about another war in the world? There are lots of wars.

Daddy: Yes. It's a war that has been going on for a long time. The country of Israel and the people of Palestine have been fighting for a long time because they both think that God gave them the same place to live and it is considered 'holy land' to both of them. It has been going on for a long time. It is pretty complicated really. There are other countries involved some trying to make peace and some that want to make more war.

Becca: Yeah, complicated. You know what? I remember that in one of the Bible stories I learned in church class that God gave Israel to the Jewish people...but God doesn't like war because wars are dangerous and people get hurt...even kids get killed and God doesn't want a kid to be killed because of a war...I don't think God likes missles or war.

IRAQ WAR

Becca: Well...what about Uncle Richard? He is in a war in Iraq.

Daddy: What do you think about the war in Iraq?

Becca: I don't like it cause my Uncle Richard could get killed. Why is he even there? He is away from his daughters and the new baby is coming...

Daddy: I wish he didn't have to there too,Booger. Why do you think that he is there?

Becca: Is he trying to protect us from bad guys getting us? Maybe there are all these bad guys with missles and guns and they want to kill people and stuff and my Uncle Richard won't let them get together and get us...Uncle Richard and the army are like watching out for us...but so is Jesus.

Daddy: So you think Uncle Richard is kind of a hero?

Becca: Yeah, but it would be better if he could just come home now.

President Obama

Becca: They sure do talk about him a whole lot. Obama,Obama,Obama...He is our president...I know and you voted for him,right? Daddy, you voted for Obama? Now he is our president.

Daddy: Yep, I did.

Becca: President is like a boss,Dad. But you know who is my boss...Jesus. He always knows the right things to do. I learn about Jesus every day in school and I don't wanna be a nurse any more (but I might still work at Wal-Mart when I am a teenager) but I wanna be a kindergarten teacher at a Christian school and teach kids all about Jesus and songs to sing...I learn about Jesus every day at school and on Sundays at church...and on Saturdays...I just sing my own songsthat I make up about Jesus...I talk about Jesus to all my friends. Yaknow,why? Jesus loves us.

After this our conversation turned to why she can't eat toast without getting all covered in crumbs and what would happen if I ran a stop sign because I was going too fast...by the way, the answer to the toast topic: "I eat like a pig some mornings,Daddy and throw my bread around too much..." and what would happen if I ran a stop sign? "You would have an accident and I could get hurt and they might take you to jail and I wouldn't make it to school...so you don't have to worry if I am late cause it is just better if I make it to school without an accident"...

Thanks,Becca.

Someone trying to tell me something?

2009-01-24T19:16:00.000-06:00

“Everyone has their own specific vocation or mission in life …. Therein we cannot be replaced, nor can our lives be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as their specific opportunity to implement it.”
Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

“We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but that what life expected from us.”
Viktor Frankl

Ran across both of these quotes the other day as I was thinking about my career,my life's vocation and the real purpose. Ok, really...I was wondering whether I should quit my job in these hard economic times. I have decided not to. I have decided to do the best job that I can for as long as I can until God shows me an opportunity that I can't pass up.

I am thinking that I need to give more. I need to expect less and think of how every day is an opportunity to express God's love to others. Build community through showing honest expressions of care and compassion to others.

Thanks for the reminder,Lord.

Work For It.

2009-01-21T16:33:00.000-06:00

I am feeling like a complainer. It is true that I am tired of the odd shifts and long hours that a career in retail management demands. It is also true that this isn't my "dream job" to work as a middle manager at a big box retailer. I don't enjoy my job but...

Honestly, the Lord uses my job to provide for me and my family way beyond our needs. It is because of my job that I have a comfortable home to come home to after a long day of work. Complaining is really not getting me anywhere. I am sure that if I want something different for myself then I am going to have to work for it.

I feel blessed to be working for this company at this time. We are not having as many struggles as some companies in this current recession. I have a job. I have a career if I am willing to work hard for it. I could be a store manager within 5-10 years if that was my goal. It isn't a bad goal.

I just don't think that it is my goal.

I am going to rearrange my schedule so that I am waking early each morning for bible reading and prayer. I am going to lay this all in the hands of God and trust that He will provide for me opportunities and discernment as he has so far in my life.

If I want a better "Work Life" then I am going to have to start working for it. I might need to go on a job hunt or try to find a way to further my education. I need to pray and talk this over with my wife. I need to see a new beginning.

Inauguration Speech

2009-01-20T14:36:00.000-06:00

Inauguration Speech

REMARKS OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
Inaugural Address
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Washington, D.C.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

The Future

2009-01-18T18:25:00.000-06:00

This has been an odd week leading into another. I am not quite getting enough sleep at a time or enough time to really be still and meditate on every thing that seems to be going on. "I am weak and HE is strong". I am in and out of a stream of thought prayer to my Lord. I am thinking of a friend that suddenly had a job pulled out from under him as Circuit City went under and all of his efforts to improve himself sort of set back. I am thinking of another friend who took a brave step and resigned the position he was unhappy in (we are career twins so...is this a sign?) to take a position with his church. I am thinking of how I am reaching out to be a friend and enter in deeper friendships but busyness,activitity, and commitment makes it harder. I am thinking of our president elect taking office and all of the HOPE that I feel for my nation's future. "Yes We Can"...I am thinking of my sister-in-law bringing a youn g baby boy into the world this week. Baby Jude, we can't wait to meet you! I am thinking of my other sister in law due next month. I am thinking of the moves my wife and I are making towards fostering a child. I am working on my forward thinking. Processing every thing and trying not to take control but leave it in trust to the only ONE who can handle it. I am taking tons of ibuprofren to get through these splitting headaches. I am sometimes forgetting my anti-depressants but I am not the miserable mess that I was maybe 5 monthes ago...I am thinking of my future and what an illusion that is and how the Kingdom of God is built brick by brick with the LOVE that I share now with friends (sure) but more to the stranger (brothers and sisters who I just don't know yet). I adore all of this possibility but I am made oddly seasick by the dips and sudden rises or the twists and sudden turns of the present moment. Sweet Lord, take this as a prayer. Help me to help myself in this moment to find myself in Your WILL and build your kingdom here on Earth as well as I can with my hands and heart. I LOVE you all. I promise I do.

My place in the story...

2009-01-14T10:04:00.001-06:00

It is hard for me sometimes to remind myself that I am not finding ways to fit God into my life story. I should instead be finding ways to fit myself into God's narrative. It is His plot and I am just a character. I need to act out my part with the most compassion,obedience and LOVE that I can find in my heart. I keep thinking "How am I going to fit that into my schedule?" rather than how is my life going to fit into God's plan for me. I need to try to see the world the way He sees it and love others as he would LOVE them. Lord, I pray for this...Please, help me find my place in your story?

The Bucket List

2009-01-11T20:03:00.000-06:00

1. Learn to play guitar.

2. Visit the Grand Canyon.

3. Write a novel...something some one would actually read...

4. Grow a big full beard.

5. Get more tattoos.

6. Ride a motorcycle.

7. Drive a classic Mustang for a week.

8. Take my wife on a real Honeymoon...

9. Read the bible alone and then again with my family.

10. Love more. Take in a foster child or two.

11. Take an unforgetable road trip.

to be continued...

Best of 2008

2008-12-30T10:35:00.000-06:00

Every one seems to be putting out these compiled lists of the Top Ten Albums of the Year or Top Ten Bands of the Year,Best TV Shows of 2008 etc. etc. etcetera. I love to read these lists but I sort of discover that their lists are rarely my list. I think music,televison, what we read, what we watch at the cinema...those are personal choices based on personal taste and opportunity to discover new things. I rarely pick the same albums as all of the music magazines because I am exposed to less new music. I listen to lots of old albums. I don't pick the same telly mainly because I watch much less of it and couldn't list 10 shows that I even watch on a regular basis. On and on...so what is this list? It is my Top Five "Best" of 2008 based on completely personal bias and basis of well every thing I can remember at the moment of well every thing.

5. Geese fly in a V-shaped formation. They don't do this only this year and this wasn't even the first year I noticed it. It is just that a few months ago this was brough to my attention again when I saw a flock (I assume it is called a flock and not a pride or a pack or murder or whatever) of geese lift off the ground and turn into the setting sun. Within seconds they had assumed a V formation. Fighter pilots mimic this formation. It is aerodynamics. It is strategic advantage. It is picking up a little extra lift from those ahead and being able to watch out for every other goose you fly with. It is awesome. It is to my mind another proof in the concept of grand design. How would a goose understand aerodynamics and the advantage of the physic of a particular flight formation. Natural order. Grand intelligent desigm Synergy. Communal advantage in the natural order. This is just a blow you away amazing thing to notice and it is all around us. God is all around us. The Birds. The Bees. (the hive is another miracle and they dance to communicate)....it is a miracle world of complex design all around us. Another thing...the geese take turn being the lead bird and when they tire they take up a place in the back. No shame. No guilt. Just take the lead until you tire and let another take a turn at it. Genius. I have also heard that if a bird is wounded or sick and can not fly with the formation a few others will attend him to the ground and stay with him until he either is well enough to rejoin the formation or until he dies. Awesome.

4. National Public Radio. I am listening to tons of NPR. I enjoy catching a BBC news cast as I drive into work or some World Jazz on the way home. I enjoy the quirky news shows and the odd editorials. I enjoy feeling informed and not feeling mislead or fed an agenda. Ok, there might be a bit of a leftist lean to some of the shows on the station but it a leftist lean that I am already leaning towards. It is compassionate news from around the globe. It is car care shows with humor and cooking hours. It is just a welcome change from a lot of the angry noise on the radio. Basically, it is NPR on my long commutes or I turn the radio off and listen to the sounds of traffic.

8. Facebook. I didn't discover this social network until this year but it allows me to check in daily if I like on two best friends from high school, a long time family friend, a host of church friends, acquanitances that I haven't seen in years, my best friend from the 8th grade, my daughter's best friend's mother, my neighbors, and not to mention my brother and wife all in one quick moment of logging in. It is a neat way to keep so many far away friends in mind and keep them all up to date with me without even trying all that hard. I am all about friends and this makes it even easier. It deserves a place on the list.

3. Last Fm. I get exposed to so much folk,blues,alt-country,old school country,contemporary christian music, not to mention indie,shoegaze and occasionally some classic rock I missed along the way through this website. It is a great way to expose myself to new artists or music that I would never know without it and when I discover one new band it suggests several others and before you know it I am fairly well exposed to jazz piano or blues guitar or quirky weird folk artists or praise music by some little known artist from Germany. It is fantastic. I enjoy the exposure to so much new music and the way I keep discovering a new branch of the musical tree. I have used this site before 2008 but I get on here daily this year so why not count it...

2. Deborah J. You were cranky. You complained. You cracked jokes that made being a new manager that much easier. You were a hard worker and did every thing I ever assigned to you. You tried hard. You weren't easy to like but you were liked anyway by a lot of people because you grew on the heart. I do not like hearing what your last few weeks were like and I wish I had visited you and told you that it was nice working with you and thanked you for making my transition at the new store a little easier. I was surprised when I was so moved to see that your name badge is still hanging behind the Sporting Goods counter like it is just waiting on you to come back in and clip it on. It is easier for me to imagine you on leave of abscence than to know that you are no longer with us. You are the third associate that I lost this year but you were the one I knew best and it hurts to think I won't hear your litany of morning complaints ever again. I miss you. You were one of my favorites.

1. Driving. Ok, some of you know and some of you don't. I haven't been driving long. I got my license in '07 on 9/11 and conquered years of fear and hitching rides. Staying late or going in early to get where I needed to be. But I love driving. I love the long quiet commute and through prayer I finally conquered a crippling fear and earned a new love. It is awesome to be behind the wheel when I thought I never would.

Truth was this was supposed to be a Top Ten but I ran out of time...I am going to run late to work if I don't jump in the car now. So this isn't my definitve Top list but the top of the moment...my wife and kids are on my TOP of the Top list forever. I just have to hurry out but wanted to write a quick something and get some thoughts down.

Love you all. Be grateful for your top ten or twenty and keep them unique. Life is playing a single instrument in a grand orchestra. Or something like that...

Five Cool Things to Happen Today.

2008-12-22T21:46:00.000-06:00

1. Got as close as I ever have to getting all of the toys overstock out of the store room. Had a good work day and left feeling like I accomplished something...even almost got an atta-boy from the big boss today. It made me feel like I have this Christmas retail thing licked...even if there is still a way to go.

2. One of my associates baked me cookies...they were awesome! Even if all of the managers in my office scarfed them down while I was out on the sales floor, it was a sweet gesture and a nice Christmas gift.

3. I got a Christmas card hand delivered to me from an associate at my store that doesn't work directly for me with a very genuine sentiment. It made me smile.

4. I heard my Becca had a lot of fun buying me a present and hiding it today while I was at work.

Also she had a fun time shopping for her mother with Ali today.

5. My little brother is in town for Christmas. It was really cool to spend a little time with him this evening. He and I wrestled and I was oddly pleased to discover he can quite easily take me down and keep me helplessly held down. Way to go,United States Army!

I am close to the edge and my trigger finger sticks.

2008-12-17T20:51:00.000-06:00

My doctor actually told me both of these things.

The physician's assistant gave me an EKG to be sure but decided that my chest pains are caused by severe stress. They decided that my job was enough to make anyone's chest feel like it might explode. She compared her job with mine and said while she had many "serious responsibilities" for sheer stress I had her beat and she wouldn't ever change jobs with me. Not that this is an option. As my wife reminded me when I diagnosed myself as merely having severe stress, I do NOT have a medical degree. I was prescribed Xanax for "the short-term symptomatic relief of symptoms of excessive anxiety". I was warned that it is quite habit forming and can be a small hazard if operating heavy machinery (I only do infrequently besides my commute back and forth to work). The woman basically suggested that I use it to take the edge off of a hard day. As a former heavy drinker I am not sure that this was the solution I was hoping for. I am not sure if I want a habit-forming anxiety reliever that comes out of a bottle in my life again. Then again...I am on an anti-depressant (Zoloft) and it really does seem to help my depression and anxiety. Maybe there is better living through chemistry. I will take great caution though, believe me!

As for the pain in my hand and my stiff tendon, it is actually a condition known as Trigger Finger caused by "bad luck" and fixed by surgery. Although I have read on the internet that ibuprofren and a cortizone shot can often relieve the pain and inflammation.

In otherwords, don't push me I am close to the edge and my trigger finger sticks.

Continue to pray for me,please. I would much rather put my faith in God than all my hopes in medicine and prescription pads

Come Darkness...Come Light.

2008-12-17T11:45:00.000-06:00

I am feeling odd this morning. I am listening to lots of blues, alternative country and roots rock stuff with an occasional punk tune in there. I am finally bored with NPR for a while and turned down the radio in the car when I drove to the market to buy some adhesive bandages. I also picked up some pistachios and a few cans of bloody mary mix. I drink them straight (virgin...or however you want to say that). I got started on those when I flew up to Detroit and heard someone order a "virgin Bloody Mary" and I thought...well that is just tomato juice...It is so much better though. Spicy. Delicious. Of course I am the kind of guy that drinks Clamato juice too.

Oh man, two albums I have to pick up are Susan Tedeschi and I really want the new Mary Chapin Carpenter Christmas album. I can't help it if I am getting into this bluesy country phunk. Not depressed just nostalgic,restless, anxious, and burning with all of this LOVE. I hope the holy spirit leads me towards an outlet soon. I need a way to make this odd "tugging" at my soul become something constructive. I am a little mixed up but I am giving it up for LOVE.

Going to get this heart problem checked out today. Chest pains are not fun. I know I weigh a ton more than I should and my idea of exercise isn't what it should be. I am having thyroid issues and feeling dragged down and tired...even though my mood is up my body is tired and achey.

I will pray that I get this all worked out and turn out something incredible for this new year. I am getting pumped for 2009 already. You?

Into the Blogosphere...

2008-10-22T11:15:00.000-05:00

"Blog is short for weblog, which is a fancy word for narcissism and self infatuation. "

-Donald Miller

I ask myself, "Self,why do you need yet another blog?" And I answer...not outloud because that would be crazy. "Why not?"

I mean more time to journal my thoughts out into the interspace for all the interested masses is time well spent. Don't I owe it to humanity to let them know what I ate for dinner last night or what I thought of the latest blockbuster movie that everyone else is already babbling on about. Or to post hundreds of pictures of my children that they will someday curse me for allowing the public to see...isn't that what blogging is all about?